All-Star Game Musings

-Ryan Howard is your N.L. starting DH. Something seems so right about that sentence.
-Speaking of Howard, he faces a tough lefty in his first at-bat and strikes out. Something seems even more right about that sentence.
-When Joe Buck has to introduce a clip where they play Vladimir Guerrero at-bats over a recording of children singing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," do you think a part of his soul dies?
- All-Star game means starters come in, throw caution to the wind and let it fly- Just saw Andy Pettitte hit 89! Wow!
- Josh Johnson just made Ichiro look silly.
- Fox is so tacky. The game's in California and every commercial break they play a "California" oriented song. I can't wait till they use, "Straight Outta Compton."
- David Wright seems to be representing the New York Mets and the Brooklyn hipsters. Nice shoes, ass.
- Beautiful diving catch by Ryan Braun, robbing Josh Hamilton of a double.
- Only upon leaving the RBI do I see just how much emphasis everyone puts on it. Every other stat out of Joe Buck's mouth is RBI related.
- Through 4 innings, no offense of note. Like I predicted, NL pitchers are just throwing gas, and the superior AL line-up appears over matched.
- Correction from an earlier post: Justin Verlander also has a k/9 above 8, at 8.58.
- Corey Hart is making a huge mistake with that beard. He needs to clean up his act and get rid of it. With blonde locks like that, he should be striving for this look.
- I'm on George Takei overload watching this game.
- And Charlie Manuel has brought in Hong-Chih Kuo. "The 2010 MLB All-Star Game: The Showcase of the Immortals!"
-All-Star lefty specialist Hung-Chih Kuo gives up a run. AL is up 1-0.
- Nice shot of Scott Boras lurking in his cartoon villain evil lair behind home plate, watching many of his dollar signs compete against one another.
- "Predators" looks awesome.
- I will see "Predators."
- Wait, if the Predators are in fact the ultimate hunters in the universe--a race of alien who's entire culture and existence is based on hunting--why do they always hunt us? If they really want to be the ultimate hunters, and challenge themselves, why don't they hunt each other?
- Oh, that's right, there's a baseball game going on. The AL just made a few substitutions. John Buck and his All-Star caliber .306 on-base percentage have entered the game. "The 2010 MLB All-Star Game: This One Counts?"
- If Girardi is a true baseball mastermind, he'll throw Lester for the next 4 innings.
- It's starting to dawn on me, at 10:33 eastern standard time, bottom of the 6th inning, that I've watched more than a half hour of an All-Star game.
- Opponents are hitting almost .300 against reliever Matt Capps on the season, and I'm watching him in an ALL-STAR GAME. Well, I guess there are more egregious All-Star selections, COUGH::OMAR INFANTE::COUGH.
- "Matt Capps was a Pirate last year, was non-tendered in the off season, signed with the Nationals, and now he's an All-Star"- Joe Buck. That sentence has significance, but not the significance that Joe Buck is giving it.
- Joe Buck is now telling a story about how Scott Rolen was verbally emasculated by Albert Pujols' son. I guess if he has to look like an idiot, he's taking some people down with him. "The 2010 MLB All-Star Game on Fox: What Does Dignity Mean?!"
- We've reached the point in the game where the match-ups are much less sexy. Matt Thornton vs. Marlon Byrd is not why people tuned in. Everyone knows they're watching for Michael Bourn vs. Jose Valverde, DUH!
- Brian McCann clears the bases against Matt Thornton to give the NL a 3-1 lead. The NL can smell victory for the first time in 14 years.
- Good thing the AL left Francisco Liriano at home. He definitely couldn't have helped at all.
- John Buck doubles off Adam Wainwright in attempt to make me eat my words, but I don't care John, because I know what you are!
-Top of the 8th inning, and the NL only has 2 position players left- The dynamic duo of Michael Bourn and Omar Infante. The AL only has 1 position player left- Alex Rodriguez.
-Jose Valverde warming, could we see the much heralded Valverde-Bourn match-up OMGFTEWLMFAOOOOOOO!?!?!?!?!?!
- Michael Bourn has entered the game! "The 2010 MLB All-Star Game: Because Every Team Requires 1 Representative, Regardless of Qualifications!"
-Sweet Jesus, here it is! Valverde starts Bourn off with a fastball for strike 1. Another fastball, fouled off for strike 2. Bourn's in the hole quickly. Splitter away from Valverde for a swinging strike 3. 3 pitches. That's what I waited for, this whole game? 3 god damn pitches? "The 2010 MLB All-Sta....nope"
- Alright, here we go. Broxton on to close it.
-Can't pinch hit for John Buck, he's the only catcher left. Well well well John, lets see you make a fool of me again! Buck bloops a single into right field, Marlon Byrd throws Ortiz out at second.
- Ian Kinsler flies out. A-Rod doesn't play. NL wins for the first time in 14 years. Good night!